Building Yourself Up – 10 Phrases to Get Rid of Negative Self Talk

by Alissa Marquess on June 27, 2014

Have you ever found yourself going down, down, down and and you hear your inner voice tell you, “You’re a bad mom.  You’re ruining your kids. What’s wrong with you!?”  If you’ve read my post on Banishing the Should Mama, you know that I certainly have those moments.

10 phrases to get rid of negative self talk

My dad used to sing this song when I was a kid and the chorus went:

Oops, you made a mistake,
And you’re beautiful,
You’re beautiful,
Oops you made a mistake,
and you’re beautiful to me.

I think we could all use that message from time to time. 

You do not deserve to be berated by anyone, including yourself.

The next time you feel yourself spinning into that negative self talk, try canceling it out and building yourself up with some of these phrases.

  • Breathe, just BREATHE.
  • I am strong.
  • I can change course right now.
  • I am learning.  You can’t learn without making mistakes.
  • I am loved.  I can speak to myself like the beloved person that I am.
  • I am empowered to make changes and discard what is no longer working for my family.
  • My kids don’t want perfect, they want me.
  • If I’m damning myself, chances are I’m damning others. If I’m forgiving myself, chances are I’m forgiving others.

Brand New Ending

Related: Getting Rid of the Mom Guilt

When we can trust that learning comes out of making mistakes and making readjustments, then we can encourage growth.  When we find compassion for ourselves in our lowest moment, we expand our ability to find compassion for our children as well.

You are not alone. We all have our parenting dark pits.  You will not help yourself get out of the dark pit by flogging yourself with harsh words.  You are loved.

Oops, you made a mistake and you’re beautiful to me.

Angela Todd
Angela Todd

sometimes I know I can't read your posts because it's inconvenient to cry, haha.  THIS ONE snuck up on me!  thank you x2! xx Angela

heidi anderson
heidi anderson

In a world where we see so many blogs and Pinners showing only the fun, creative focused parts of parenting it is so nice not to feel alone in the imperfect job of being a mama. Thank you for showing the real sides of parenting and giving such simple advice to help us all feel worthy.


I would love the words and tune to that song!


Thank you for this. This applies to all parts of life. So often I trash talk myself in career, friendships, creativity....the list goes on. We block our own path to growth, adventure and happiness.

Alissa Marquess
Alissa Marquess

I would love to find who wrote it - I have a recording of my dad singing it, but he died years ago, so I need to do a bit more digging to find out where the song came from. I'm so glad he sang it to me, such a good message :)


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