100 Ways to be Kind to your Child

by Alissa Marquess on February 13, 2012

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As a participating blog in Toddler Approved’s 100 Acts of Kindness Challenge I spent a month knowing I would be writing about how to be kind to your children.  It’s not that I don’t want to be kind to my kids all the time, but honestly, it made a real difference to be thinking about this list.

When I consciously decided to find ways to be kind to my kids I found I was catching myself more often before I sighed impatiently.  I started finding more times to make kind eye contact, or smile.  These are just little shifts, but they add up.  I hope you enjoy:

100 Ways to be Kind to your Child

Tell to your child:

1. I love you.
2. love you no matter what.
3. I love you even when you are angry at me.
4. I love you even when I am angry with you.
5. I love you when you are far way.  My love for you can reach you wherever you are.
6. If I could pick any 4 year old (5 year old, 6 year old…) in the whole wide world, I’d pick you.
7. I love you to the moon and then around the stars and back again.
8. Thank you.
9. I enjoyed playing with you today.
10. My favorite part of the day was when I was with you and we _______.

Tell them:
11. The story of their birth or adoption.
12. About how you cuddled them when they were a baby.
13. The story of their name.
14. A story about yourself when you were their age.
15. The story of how their grandparents met.
16. What your favorite color is.
17. That sometimes you struggle too.
18. That when you’re holding hands and you give three squeezes, it’s a secret code that means, “I love you”.
19. What the plan is.
20. What you’re doing right now.

Play:
21. Freeze Tag
22. Uno
23. Crazy 8s
24. Gin Rummy
25. Memory
26. Go Fish
27. I Spy- especially when you’re tired of driving and feel snappish
28. Catch

Pretend:
29. To catch their kiss and put it on your cheek.
30. That their tickle tank is empty and you have to fill it.
31. That their high five is so powerful it nearly knocks you over.
32. That you are super ticklish.
33. That you are explorers in the amazing world of your own backyard.
34. That it’s party day!

Try:
35. To get enough sleep.
36. To drink enough water.
37. To eat decent food.
38. Dressing in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable.
39. Calling a friend the next time you feel like you are about to lose it with the kids.
40. Giving a gentle touch to show approval, rather than saying something.
41. Dancing in the kitchen.
42. To get your kids to bop to the music with you in the car.
43. Showing your kids that you can do a somersault or handstand or a cartwheel.
44. Keeping the sigh to yourself.  Just jump in and help clean up.
45. Using a kind voice, even if you have to fake it.

Read:
46. A book of silly poems.
47. A book and then act it out. (Like “I’m going on a Bear Hunt”)
48. Your favorite childhood book to them.
49. When the afternoon is starting to go astray.
50. Outside under a tree.
51. In the library kids corner.
52. The comic book they love that you’re not so hot on.
53. About age appropriate behavior so you can keep your expectations realistic.

Listen:
54. To your child in the car.
55. To that Lego description, and think how important it is to your child.
56. For that question that indicates your child really needs your input.
57. One second longer than you think you have patience for.
58. For the feelings behind your child’s words.

Ask:
59. Why do you think that happens?
60. What do you think would happen if______?
61. How shall we find out?
62. What are you thinking about?
63. What was your favorite part of the day?
64. What do you think this tastes like?

Show:
65. Your child how to do something instead of banning them from it.
66. How to whistle with a blade of grass.
67. How to shuffle cards- make a bridge if you can!
68. How to cut food.
69. How to fold laundry.
70. How to look up information when you don’t know the answer.
71. Affection to your spouse.
72. That taking care of yourself is important.

Take Time:
73. To watch construction sites.
74. To look at the birds.
75. To allow your child to help you dump ingredients in the bowl.
76. To walk places together.
77. To dig in the dirt together.
78. To do a task at your child’s pace.
79. To just sit with your child while they play.

Trust:
80. That your child is capable.
81. That you are the right parent for your child.
82. That you are enough.
83. That you can do what is right for your family.

Delight your child:
84. Clean your child’s room as a surprise.
85. Put chocolate chips in the pancakes.
86. Put a love note in their lunch.
87. Make their snack into a smile face shape.
88. Make sound effects while you help them do something.
89. Sit on the floor with them to play.

Let Go:
90. Of the guilt.
91. Of how you thought it was going to be.
92. Of your need to be right.

Give:
93. A kind look.
94. A smile when your child walks into the room.
95. A kind touch back when your child touches you.
96. The chance to connect before you correct so that your child can actually hear your words.
97. Your child a chance to work out their frustrations before helping them.
98. A bath when the day feels long.
99. A hug.
100. You get to choose the next one!  What is your favorite way to be kind to your child?

{Printable Version of 100 Ways to be Kind to your Child}

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{ 175 comments… read them below or add one }

Missisee April 7, 2013 at 3:20 pm

Great list and I really like the fact you take the time to reply to so many comments :)

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Alissa Marquess April 7, 2013 at 7:27 pm

You made me smile. I always wish I could reply to more comments, so thank you. Apparently I do OK.

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Kate UK Mum April 7, 2013 at 3:39 pm

Superb list – I just shared it on facebook (including your link back to this page) and have had loads of ‘like’s and comments.
Agree with many comments above, especially that this isn’t a test, a checklist or a guilt trip. Choosing those you like, changing them, forgetting those you can’t achieve – make it your own. So grateful to you from here in the UK (I get the impression this orginiated in the US?)
My no. 100 – it’s copyrighted to my Mum actually – is a ‘Feedle, Fidle, Fodle, Foo and Fum’ story at bedtime. Feedle is your littlest finger, Fum is your thumb. You then introduce your child to each character and they can go on whatever adventure you want for however long you have. (Feedle must have a little squeaky voice, Fum has a deep voice and the others fill in the octave) We usually wake them up and they stretch, eat breakfast, go for a hike over the snow-capped mountains (duvet covered knees) and crash through the jungle (long hair, round ears is good) They can ask your child questions about their day, or any other crazy ideas you might have. I often get my kids to kiss each finger goodnight and they all go to sleep in my pocket. Great thing is they are always available and every night is a different adventure!

Thanks again for your inspiring and encouraging list – be blessed! Kate

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Alissa Marquess April 7, 2013 at 7:30 pm

Thanks Kate, what a great idea with the fingers. We certainly always have those “on hand”.

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MrsA April 8, 2013 at 6:31 am

what an awesome list, I do many of those already; but tomorrow I will do more. I am often reminded that “if you don’t listen to the little things when they’re little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they’re big ~ to them it has always been big”
My husband works away for 4 weeks at a time and my youngest makes him a lego “ship” every time he leaves – last visit home my husband showed him the board he has which has a photo of every ship he has ever made in the last 2 years. My youngest knows that even tho daddy is away, he is still very important to daddy.
It doesn’t make much effort to make some sort of connection each day.

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TheBoyandMe April 10, 2013 at 3:25 pm

What a glorious post, and thank you for pointing out the obvious to me on a few things because it makes a difference. I’m pinning this and have shared the Facebook post as well.

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Charlotte April 10, 2013 at 4:34 pm

This made me smile and shed a tear, so many of these are such simple things that just get over looked in the hustle and bustle of everyday. I will be taking a careful look at myself from now on. Thank you x

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Varya @ littleartists April 10, 2013 at 7:15 pm

Hi, loved your post! I got a request from my Russian-speaking friends to translate this into Russian. So I hope you don’t mind it being translated and circulated! I will make sure to link back to you!

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Alissa Marquess April 10, 2013 at 7:55 pm

Varya, will you send me the list in Russian please? Thanks! ~Alissa

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Mayor of Crazyville April 10, 2013 at 7:54 pm

I love this. Just what I needed after a very long day with 3 kids under 6 years old.

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Gina April 12, 2013 at 3:17 am

My trick when I am bored rigid hearing about their latest dream or game that seems to go on forever is to say to myself ‘big appropriate smiles/shocked face/etc, lots of questions for the next five minutes’, my next five minutes save the day and I know that they completely believe I am fascinated. Sometimes I am but there is a fair bit of going over old ground, which is clearly important to them. I love that they want to share it all but I sometimes find it hard to maintain interest.
Our no. 100 is stick a big sheet of lining paper on the wall and provide a table of colours, glue, paint, stickers, crafty bits and watch them create a masterpiece. Has lasted for hours and makes us all happy and we have a lot of ginormous pictures.

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