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As a participating blog in Toddler Approved’s 100 Acts of Kindness Challenge I spent a month knowing I would be writing about how to be kind to your children. It’s not that I don’t want to be kind to my kids all the time, but honestly, it made a real difference to be thinking about this list.
When I consciously decided to find ways to be kind to my kids I found I was catching myself more often before I sighed impatiently. I started finding more times to make kind eye contact, or smile. These are just little shifts, but they add up. I hope you enjoy:
Tell to your child:
1. I love you.
2. love you no matter what.
3. I love you even when you are angry at me.
4. I love you even when I am angry with you.
5. I love you when you are far way. My love for you can reach you wherever you are.
6. If I could pick any 4 year old (5 year old, 6 year old…) in the whole wide world, I’d pick you.
7. I love you to the moon and then around the stars and back again.
8. Thank you.
9. I enjoyed playing with you today.
10. My favorite part of the day was when I was with you and we _______.
Tell them:
11. The story of their birth or adoption.
12. About how you cuddled them when they were a baby.
13. The story of their name.
14. A story about yourself when you were their age.
15. The story of how their grandparents met.
16. What your favorite color is.
17. That sometimes you struggle too.
18. That when you’re holding hands and you give three squeezes, it’s a secret code that means, “I love you”.
19. What the plan is.
20. What you’re doing right now.
Play:
21. Freeze Tag
22. Uno
23. Crazy 8s
24. Gin Rummy
25. Memory
26. Go Fish
27. I Spy- especially when you’re tired of driving and feel snappish
28. Catch
Pretend:
29. To catch their kiss and put it on your cheek.
30. That their tickle tank is empty and you have to fill it.
31. That their high five is so powerful it nearly knocks you over.
32. That you are super ticklish.
33. That you are explorers in the amazing world of your own backyard.
34. That it’s party day!
Try:
35. To get enough sleep.
36. To drink enough water.
37. To eat decent food.
38. Dressing in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable.
39. Calling a friend the next time you feel like you are about to lose it with the kids.
40. Giving a gentle touch to show approval, rather than saying something.
41. Dancing in the kitchen.
42. To get your kids to bop to the music with you in the car.
43. Showing your kids that you can do a somersault or handstand or a cartwheel.
44. Keeping the sigh to yourself. Just jump in and help clean up.
45. Using a kind voice, even if you have to fake it.
Read:
46. A book of silly poems.
47. A book and then act it out. (Like “I’m going on a Bear Hunt”)
48. Your favorite childhood book to them.
49. When the afternoon is starting to go astray.
50. Outside under a tree.
51. In the library kids corner.
52. The comic book they love that you’re not so hot on.
53. About age appropriate behavior so you can keep your expectations realistic.
Listen:
54. To your child in the car.
55. To that Lego description, and think how important it is to your child.
56. For that question that indicates your child really needs your input.
57. One second longer than you think you have patience for.
58. For the feelings behind your child’s words.
Ask:
59. Why do you think that happens?
60. What do you think would happen if______?
61. How shall we find out?
62. What are you thinking about?
63. What was your favorite part of the day?
64. What do you think this tastes like?
Show:
65. Your child how to do something instead of banning them from it.
66. How to whistle with a blade of grass.
67. How to shuffle cards- make a bridge if you can!
68. How to cut food.
69. How to fold laundry.
70. How to look up information when you don’t know the answer.
71. Affection to your spouse.
72. That taking care of yourself is important.
Take Time:
73. To watch construction sites.
74. To look at the birds.
75. To allow your child to help you dump ingredients in the bowl.
76. To walk places together.
77. To dig in the dirt together.
78. To do a task at your child’s pace.
79. To just sit with your child while they play.
Trust:
80. That your child is capable.
81. That you are the right parent for your child.
82. That you are enough.
83. That you can do what is right for your family.
Delight your child:
84. Clean your child’s room as a surprise.
85. Put chocolate chips in the pancakes.
86. Put a love note in their lunch.
87. Make their snack into a smile face shape.
88. Make sound effects while you help them do something.
89. Sit on the floor with them to play.
Let Go:
90. Of the guilt.
91. Of how you thought it was going to be.
92. Of your need to be right.
Give:
93. A kind look.
94. A smile when your child walks into the room.
95. A kind touch back when your child touches you.
96. The chance to connect before you correct so that your child can actually hear your words.
97. Your child a chance to work out their frustrations before helping them.
98. A bath when the day feels long.
99. A hug.
100. You get to choose the next one! What is your favorite way to be kind to your child?
{Printable Version of 100 Ways to be Kind to your Child}
{ 175 comments… read them below or add one }
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Alissa,
These words are pure joy and love. I LOVED reading it again. I’d read it earlier from the PDF file when your site had gone down. Shared it on my Facebook page and with friends and family!
I tell my daughter her soul and mine are connected. I feel what she feels and I understand her completely. She understands the genuineness of these words and often tells me too.
This is so sweet! I’m pinning it and sharing!
just wanna say thannx so many things i already do n felt misrable n guilty at times yes i thought that iws wrong 4 him but now i know to be a mother the most imp thing is PATIENCE n after reading this i know i will a gud mother thanks again i always wanted to share this with sum 1 but never got the answers i lov wish me luck
e him a lot but i dont want him to be a spoilt baby i ‘ll try that my love 4 himis constructive
What beautiful words! I am printing the list out and will put it up on my classroom wall. You are so right, we all want to be kind to our children, but sometimes that is difficult . . . particularly when it is a rainy day and we are all stuck inside. As a teacher, I can’t do all of them, but I can remind parents of the importance of being kind.
Thank you!
This is really a nice thing………….which is very important between u and your kid……….Thanks a lot
LOVE all of these. My suggestion? Sing: sing with them, sing to them. Sing them a lullaby and replace one of the words with their name, eg “You Are My Sunshine”.
Thank you for this wonderful post. Here’s a couple I extras I did this week and am very glad I did as my perfect 10 yr old is quite sick today.
Double the pocket money to acknowledge all the extra stuff she does (mostly) cheerfully when asked.
Did her morning chores so she could have an extra 10 minutes sleep in
Teach them about God & God’s love for them too:)
I love lists! This one is going up where I can see it! One more to add… “Turn off” the tv, video games, phones, and computers!
I am a grandma and very blessed to be one. Sometimes it’s nice to talk to grandpa about our Grace when she thinks we don’t know that she is listning. Say things like how proud we are of her and how much we love her. Or something like she is the best grandaughter in the world and we are so lucky. They will remember this, I know because my grandparents did this for me.
Be spontaneous! Stop at the park. Go out for ice-cream after everyone is in their PJ’s. Say yes to random requests you would usually say no or maybe to. My son was shocked last month when I picked him up after school and drove straight to the Boardwalk for a few rides before going home to do homework. It was so fun to see his smile and hear him tell daddy all about it that night!
I love this list!! I’d add:
100. make art with your child, anything, whether a drawing, a painting, making a card, or stamping stamps on a cardboard box, anything at all.
101. sing a song with your child, any song they like.
102. make up a song with their name in it.
Shared on my facebook wall. So many parents dont have a clue whats going on in their childs life, because they dont listen, dont communicate, or too busy for them. When we make time for our kids, it makes the relationship so much better. If we want our children to respect US, we need to respect THEM. I see so many parents saying, “My kid has no respect for me!” And you find them yelling and cussing at their kid, or cutting them off and saying, “Nope! I dont wanna hear it!!” etc…etc… No wonder the child yells and cusses and disrespects the parent. Thats what he sees and hears, and is being taught himself!! Loved your article!!
Just beautiful. So glad I found you!
I love the dancing in the kitchen one. Do this with Dad while they watch, too.
This is so beautiful. And I’m so glad that I find myself doing a majority of these things already. I don’t care if other adults think I’m silly, my 2 yr old daughter thinks I’m the coolest person around:) Her opinion of me matters more than anyones in the world. I will continue doing silly things and letting her know how much she means to me. I will never be too busy for her…ever.
These are great ideas! Thanks for sharing! We loved having you at our “Strut Your Stuff Saturday.” We hope you’ll come back next Saturday and share more of your ideas! -The Sisters
Thank you for reminding me! life goes too fast not to do these things!
<3
Hi there, I was hoping I might be able to share this lovely list with my fellow foster carers through our quarterly magazine here in Queensland Australia. Of course you would be credited and I hope lots more people will visit your site because of this. Is this OK?
My #100 is:
Tell your child it’s okay to have their feelings! Make sure they know their feelings are valid even when we don’t think they should feel the way they do. Try to understand how they feel.
What a perfect reminder to do all those oh so little, but oh so important things! My #100 is to make time for a good ‘back-writing’ session. I write words or draw pictures with my finger on his ticklish bare back and he (through hig giggles) tries to figure out what I’ve written or drawn. Sooo much fun for both of us!
Thank you! The part about Trust brought tears to my eyes.
can i copy this?
@belle
You are welcome to print out my 100 Ways to Be Kind to Your Child Post. I have a link at the bottom of the post. If you are wishing to share it on your own blog you may use one image plus a few sentences from my blog with a link back to the post for people to read.
Thanks for reading!
Omg LOVE this list. To add to the list and share something I do with my kids is, we have staring contest to see who holds the stare the longest. I really have fun with doing this but even more importantly it’s teaching them honesty and trust and it has also helped me to learn how to read my children, like when they are telling the truth or not. I believe that it’s important to teach my children to always have eye contact when talking to others! This list is so valuable on fact I’m printing it today and hanging it on the refrigerator right next to the beautiful artwork that they have created!!!!! Thanks for sharing your list
refreshing thankyou
it’ great! Made me cry!
Thank you for making this a printable list. There are days that I really struggle, especially when the kids aren’t behaving real well. This will give me a quick list to look at to change the situation around.
I would add a few more: Play teacher with your child; pretend that you are the kid- they love that! Go outside and observe nature together – pick flowers and press them, teach your child how to grow flowers or vegetables, feed the ducks at the pond. If you don’t know how to do something, learn together. Allow your child to teach you some things as well; they are so intuitive.
We are all busy, but we have to take the time to play with and teach our children. Lead by example. Don’t get fustrated when things take them too long and then you do it for them. Give them time to figure things out and let them take pride in things they’ve accomplished or learned. Parenting is not easy, but with lots of love, patience and kindness we can give our children our best.
I love “tell them the plan” – this is HUGE! My kids love knowing what we’re going to do for the day – it let’s them know that I have a plan so they don’t take over, let’s them figure out when their playtime will be and helps them feel less anxious. GREAT list!
My #100 would be to give your kid a “safe place to fall.” By that I mean, don’t ever judge them, so they know you are always someone they can turn to and talk to. Now that my son is getting older and starting to make his friends more important, this open line of communication is still so important to our relationship.
This is so sweet! Thanks!
Love this
This is such a good reminder, thank you for posting! I especially liked all of the “pretend” suggestions. I’m pinning this to look at every once in awhile for inspiration.
We taught our older daughter the ASL sign for ‘I love you’ (hand up, palm facing out, middle and ring fingers folded down to touch palm) when she was quite young, and used it often with her to send a “secret” message across a room. Now she’s almost 8, and we still use it all the time.
100. Let them hear you ‘bragging’ about how wonderful they are or the wonderful things they do.
My 100 – Tell them it is okay to make mistakes and MOST importantly be there for them when they do.
I absolutely love this list!!!! Thank you!!
At night, I always lie with them until they are asleep. I guess that’s 1. 2 – I ask in bed, “what did we do today?”. The kids always list the fun stuff, and the interesting stuff. I think it’s cool!! Usually they are so amazed at that the fun things that happened in the last 12 hours. It’s so great. They go to bed packing away the good stuff into their minds and hearts.
: )~Monika
I make a point of frequently telling my sons how handsome they are. I have tried to teach them the importance of personal grooming/hygiene and so I also always compliment them when I notice they made the effort to do something to take care of themselves.
This is so sweet! Thanks!
I always tell my sons, When we are apart and you miss me, just find the moon and know I am there!
I wanted to establish a place that would ALWAYS be there no matter what. Somewhere they could go and look up and know I was smiling back at them. It is now our place, our connection.
Wow! Great post/list! Thanks for the reminders & some new ways to try with my precious boys! This is exactly what I needed tonight… Thanks again!!!
Made me cry, and I’m a dude.
Sometimes it’s hard to have a little girl, relating, not fixing everything, listening, etc., thanks for the tips.
So inspiring, its just nice to read it and think about it.. our kids only want our love and attention, how amazing to be able to show them kindness and raise them to the same. Thank you for the article!
I found this on pinterest and went to your newsletter. I loved reading this and reposted on my facebook page.
Thanks
Kathy
Love all of the ideas and suggestions! I’m the Grandmother (Nanny) of 3 amazing Grands. From my experience as a mother I agree 100% with the comment by Lisa DeBorg. I know by not judging your children or grandchildren keeps the line of communication open. Teach them what pleases the Lord, discipline lovingly and they will never be afraid of coming to us with their problems or any kind of issues they will face in life. This will keep them from seeking advice or help from the wrong people or places.
100: Be open. Give your child the space to admit failure and do not judge. Just listen and thank them for telling you. I’m always inspired when my son (4) admits his “failures” out of the blue b/c I know he trusts me to listen and love him no matter what.
101: Be creative and get Messy. Allow your child to do messy play. So much to explore and learn! Mixing up potions are my sons favorite exploration activity.
Hello, myself self Aarti Tyagi n i m a mother of a baby boy.This is very useful for me.I love it and follow it very sicencerly.Thankyou so much.
This is just beautiful! Thanks for the inspiration. xo
Absolutely love! Simple, yet has great impact!
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