Oops you made a mistake and you’re beautiful to me!
That was the chorus of a song my dad used to sing to me and I loved it. This week I got to read a new eBook out today called Raising a Creative Kid and I was so excited to find a chapter all about mistakes. Today I interview the author, Jillian Riley. Jillian is a former early childhood educator and mom of two. She writes in a way that is both encouraging and empowering. It’s great when a book really motivates you to take action!
{Alissa} One part in Raising a Creative Kid that really intrigued me is the chapter about mistakes. Can you tell us a little about mistakes and creativity?
Why should parents be excited about their kids mistakes? How do mistakes increase creativity?
{Jillian}
Being able to accept mistakes is important for parenting in general but for creativity is essential.
Mistakes can bring an idea to a halt, cause anger, create frustration OR they can be the building blocks of learning. How we as parents feel about mistakes will directly affect how our kids feel about mistakes. That is why it’s so important to get a handle on the opportunities mistakes offer.
- Making a mistake means that you (or your kid) took a risk. You tried something. Because the outcome wasn’t what you had planned you are handed a valuable learning experience.
- Rather than getting upset with your kid (or yourself) take a minute to evaluate the situation. Ask stimulating questions. What happened? Why didn’t it work the way you thought? What could you try next time to get a new outcome? Putting the mistake in those terms takes the negative tone out of it and allows your kid to move into a learning place.
- Mistakes become learning opportunities when they are expected and welcomed. Every properly handled mistake adds a building block to their skill set, and gives them confidence to take important risks in the future.
As I was writing this, a mistake was unfolding right next to me. Big M jammed a pencil (backwards) into his battery powered pencil sharpener. I watched for a second as panic swept over his face. The pencil came out, the metal casing and eraser did not. But wait!
It wasn’t a second later that I saw one of my favorite things. I call it that creative spark, popped in his eye. I removed the batteries (we like mistakes but not danger…) and let him figure it out.
I didn’t see how he removed the eraser, but I know he did it himself because a new look was in his eye when he returned. Pride. Imagine how different this situation would have been if I had yelled, taken the sharpener and sent him to his room. The only thing he would have gained is fear to experiment. Instead, with the room to make a mistake, he was able to practice problem solving and gain a little confidence in his ability to handle unexpected situations.
Jillian Riley is the author of Raising a Creative Kid and the blog A Mom With a Lesson Plan. Click here if you’d like to get a copy of her book.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
One of my favorite phrases is “no biggie.” We use it a lot around here when mistakes happen.
I’m learning this. My mom was always on me about perfection and don’t make a mess and do it my way. I found myself falling into the same pattern and I want to change that. As I practice saying, “no biggie,” I have to breathe and talk to myself. I have to remind myself that it really is no big deal. It’s slowly allowing me to take my own risks as well. Thank you!
Thank you! I just found your website through Pinterest and I am excited to learn and make some changes as a parent! Grateful for the “pin” that brought me here, “100 Ways to be kind to your child?
Great post – and so true. I was at the store the other day and a mom was yelling at her kid for not using the bathroom when he told her he had to go. He was only 2 or 3. I wanted to yell at her but didn’t want to make things worse. I have given people sad pathetic looks before when they are mean to their kids. Or made a positive remark to the child. What is wrong with people? These are precious little spirits here to make our live happier. Thanks for the reminder.
I think everyone has been in the frustration box before. I know I have. My husband is gone most of the time, and our new location has little to offer as far as support system. It’s hard some days alone with 3 little ones, and while I don’t yell at my kids, especially in public…. When I see a Mom who is frustrated, I try to say something like “One of those days, huh?” and then talk about something similar that may have happened to me or someone else, so she gets the perspective and end with “but they’re little for only a little while, so….”. At that point, the Mom ALWAYS feels relieved and then treats the child differently. Dirty or sad looks and judgement serves very little and aggravates the situation, making the mother more frustrated. I used to be one of those before children, and have thankfully learned my lesson.
I love this article! Thank you for reminding me to take opportunity of learning moments! I can sometimes say I have the creative flow to have a problem solving opportunity take place, however when stressed or rushed I forget and react! This was a great reminder on how our reactions affect our children every step of the way. We do have lots of conversations about making mistakes, and what I found empowering about your article is the key piece of giving an opportunity to the child to mend things or be part of the solution.
Thanks again:)
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