5 Truths and Tips About Starting New Routines

by Alissa Marquess on September 20, 2012

Truths about starting a new family routineWe are in desperate need of some better routines around this house. Unfortunately this means we have to deal with the discomfort and discombobulation that comes with starting those new routines.

I think most of us know that routines help make our lives run smoother – that is, until they don’t.

We, being creatures of habit, sometimes let unhelpful habits or routines sneak up on us, and then chaos descends. Somewhere in between scrambling to make lunches and digging through that basket of laundry for the fourth time we realize we’ve got to revamp our routines and come up with something better.

5 Truths About Starting A New Routine:

1. When we most need a new routine is when it feels most difficult to come up with one.

2. New routines feel funky at first – they aren’t familiar or, well, routine yet.  Know that this is the case.  When it all feel weird just remind yourself that it’s just a beginning and it will get better.

  • Write it down.  That way when you don’t know what to do next, you can look at your “cheat sheet.”

3. We’ve all got to eat. And it happens over and over and over. (I know, this is a tough truth…) If you write down your meal times you can begin to plug in basic activities around those.  This gives you something to “pin” an activity to (ie. We have a quick clean up before dinner.)  You’ve got to get something pinned down to gain momentum.

Tips for building family routines

Regular meal times should also help every body have more even energy through the day making most things run smoother.

      • You can find many different menu planning services online if this is a task that’s tripping you up.  I’m trying out a pre-made menu plan from emeals (aff) this month to see if it helps me get a handle on the groceries/dinner routine.  I’ve never done this before, so I’m a little skeptical, but on the other hand paying someone else to do the planning might be worthwhile at this point in my life.

4. Children often fight a routine for some time, even after they’ve internalized it as a routine. If they are grousing about it, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing something wrong.

Consider whether there is a good reason to switch your routine, but it know that some children need to push boundaries to find out where the edge is and whether you will hold them back from it, so to speak.  My boundary pusher does best with a strong routine AND fights it like crazy (a mighty perplexing and frustrating trait!)

5. You’ve got to plan a little and try a lot.  Don’t get so wrapped up in planning that you never start.  It will never be totally perfect and there will never be the perfect time to try your new routine

Tips for Building New Family Routines

We’re not going for an institution, we’re going for a home and a family – bumps, false starts, and grace for mistakes included.  Our children need to see us make mistakes, forgive ourselves and move on.

If you’ve been stuck, I hope this helps you get moving!  Starting a new routine can feel daunting, but the moment you put just a couple things in place, it all starts to feel a little easier.  Now, to put this into action for myself too…

Have any great books or other resources you use for making your family’s routine?

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Carla September 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm

These are great tips, we have struggle with a new routine for home preschool and feel very scrambled, I think these tips will help. Thank you!

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Melitsa September 21, 2012 at 1:16 am

We understand #4 really well at the moment. I posted about our routine too so that we can have a better morning exit.

The chapter routines and rhythm in Simplicity parenting helps.

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Jayne Reynolds September 21, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Any thoughts about what to do when the routine becomes drudgery and you (the adult) are fed up with it?

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Alissa Marquess September 21, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Hi Jayne, sounds like it’s time for a change. Is there something specific that makes switching things up difficult? Maybe we can help brainstorm a solution if we’ve got a few more details :)
~Alissa

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Jayne Reynolds September 24, 2012 at 10:47 am

Well, I’m just two weeks into the new routine – lol.

I know not terribly exciting but I think it’s a real point where folks can loose the plot rather than stick with it to make a habit change.

I don’t have a lot of flexibility. I work 40 hours a week, hubs works 50-60 and I have three high school-ers. I try and get household stuff/exercise/quiet time/leadership reading done around work hours so that I can have down time for 45 mins each evening and on Sundays after church. I work my buns off on Saturdays so that I can have down time on Sundays too. I’m a big fly-lady fan, so I’m not cleaning till my fingers bleed, and I do involve the kids in the chores.

By the end of last week I was more resigned that if I don’t get the work done, I can’t play which is more motivation to stick with it.

I don’t know if you have any thoughts or not. It’s OK if you don’t ;) Sometimes we just have to keep keeping on, even if we don’t feel like it.
Jayne

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Adrienn September 21, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Our daily routines revolve around mealtimes as well. They change according to seasons, weather conditions and out of town activities. So much easier to know that the house will be quiet at 9 pm. after a busy day!

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