I didn’t start out writing this article, but it turned out this is what I need to say right now: My craft room is a mess because I am afraid.
Fear keeps me bogged down and swamped with clutter. Fair warning: the following thoughts are not true to my own beliefs. I am surprised to find that while I can look at other people and see how valuable they are in their unique way of being, I have some really dysfunctional thoughts when it comes to myself. I want to get rid of these harmful ways of thinking and the first step in that is identifying what they are, so here goes.
Here’s the (admittedly skewed thinking):
I am afraid that I don’t deserve my craft room, so I treat it like a wretched storage room instead.
- Who deserves a craft room if they keep it messy? (This makes no sense as to why I keep it messy, obviously…)
- Only real artists deserve their own craft room. (Huh? Why do I think this? I don’t believe it’s true for Other People. Weird.)
I am afraid that if my craft room is clean I will need to use it. I will need to be a real artist.
- I don’t want to be a real artist. If I am a real artist I will have to pick just ONE thing to do. (Can I insert a WTF here? Where does my brain come up with this bizarre notion?)
- If I am using my craft room I will have to make money with my creating and I might mess THAT up. And if I mess that up, I probably can’t have a craft room, and I don’t want to lose my craft room! (which I can’t even use right now because it is a mess, which is a mess because I am afraid, which…) See, I told you it was skewed thinking.
I am afraid because all my life I have known I was a creative person. It is what I base my identity on.
- What if I get my craft room clean and I don’t know what to do?
- What if I try making stuff and I fail? Who will I be then?
Right now I have a billion and two ideas floating around in my head, and a messy craft room keeping me from doing any of them. The mess is the perfect excuse for avoiding possible failure. If the ideas stay in my head they remain perfect- untried, safe from criticism and safe from flopping miserably. Unfortunately also they remain completely undone and I remain feeling stuck and frustrated.
Gulp.
So, I can tell how messed up that all sounds and I don’t like it. I am sick of it and I am done with it.
Over the past year I have watched my husband work his heart out opening a brewery. He faces the fear of failure everyday knowing that if he fails not only will it be the crumbling of his dream, but also financial ruin for our family. And I am so proud of him and support him in taking these risks. So, I need to take a page out of his book. I need to step away from that fear, let it exist but not be ruled by it. Perhaps if I can recognize these poisonous thoughts I can ditch them and move forward.
In order to clean up and clear out our craft spaces, we’ve got to declutter the thought patterns that are getting in our way. If this hits home for you, I encourage you to take some time this week and journal about what fears are keeping you from doing the creative things you’d like to do. Let’s move forward together!
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You are an inspiration to me! Thanks for reading.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I have so been enjoying your Creativity Solutions for Moms series! I am also currently in the process of reclaiming my craft space and love all the storage solutions on you pinboard!
I wish I could give you my craftlessness so that you might be free from these odd thoughts! Organizing and de-cluttering is somewhat of an obsession for me- but you would never know it- One creates clutter to that needs to be de-cluttered when de-cluttering- My office, for example, and garage are filled with items I have identified to be given away or sold- I have yet to get to those tasks. I can’t create (write) in a mess. It distracts me- so I have to keep that area neat- But, I don’t think you are the first artist to struggle. I imagine it is the reason a lot of computer engineers are allowed to have messy office spaces to keep the creativity coming.
I so relate to all of this. My studio doubles or trebles up as office, gym, storage…. and it’s not that large a room! Tidiness seems to be impossible. For me, I’m not sure whether the self-doubt is related to it or not, but those feelings are all still there. I tell myself not to get too hung up about it, and to go with the flow, but like you I want to try so many things! I could go on…and on….(but won’t).
We don’t have enough room to have a dedicated craft room but I can totally relate to the ideas staying in my head picture-perfect….but they aren’t much good staying there. Sometimes it is so much easier to stay in front of the tv than pull one of my half finished or not started at all projects out but it isn’t very satisfying. Thanks for your post.
This is a wonderfully honest post. Thank you for sharing.