I find it amazing how fast doubt and resistance show up in a creative endeavor.
I mean- deciding to do a quick sketch each day has gone something like this:
Day 1: Ok, a sketch, fun!
Day 2: Crap, I’m supposed to sketch something. Maybe I won’t…(Wow this is only day 2!! Already my brain is resisting?!) Do a quick sketch.
Day 3: *forget* to sketch anything until nearly 11pm. Think about how this is a pointless thing to do. Do a quick sketch.
Day 4: Ok. Fine I’ll do this, but I don’t want to. And what I draw will be bad. And WTF, why am I drawing in an old book instead of a sketchbook anyway? Why am I doing this? Do a quick Sketch.
Day5: Minimal resistance towards doing the sketch (turns out I LIKE drawing, oh, right, I’d forgotten that.) But still throughout the day I have to deal with my brain quibbling about…just stupid quibbly type things (What will you do after 30 days of sketches? What will you do with this altered-book-sketch-book when you’re done with it? Are you keeping this forevvver?Are you drawing right? Why do you ask all these dumb questions? What does drawing have to do with other creative things in your life? Will this improve life the universe and getting the laundry done??)
::sigh:: Sometimes I wish I could get parts of my brain to shut up.
At any rate, I am sketching once a day and so far I am really enjoying drawing Azalea and looking at her closely. Sketching forces me to just stop and be present- such a beautiful thing to experience with a baby. Sketching each day helps me remember myself; I used to love to draw, I just haven’t in a long time.
Finally, going through this resistance each day, as well as the initial rocky beginning to each drawing session (I always feel like I have to warm up a bit before I actually begin to enjoy drawing) gives me good creative practice. Each time I break through that resistance I remind myself that living creatively doesn’t always feel EASY, but it does feel vibrant. By reaching my little goal each day, I feel more alive and more present in my life.
Speaking of that, it’s once again nearly 11pm and I haven’t done my drawing yet today! I have a sleeping baby to sketch before bed, so I better go…
Want to join me? Start your own little creative ritual each day. Let me know what you’re up to.
~Alissa
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I’m writing and I can SO relate. Creativity really doesn’t come easy for most of us! (Reading Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird has helped me find peace with this – I mean, if even SHE struggles with the creative beast, why *not* me?? lol).