6 Kid Approved Ways to Show Your Love

This list was made with help from my kids.  I asked them what I do that makes them feel loved.  Hugs and Kisses at bedtime was the absolute first thing they said. Then they had lots of examples that involved candy. Apparently, candy=love around here.  Oh dear…

I explained that I wanted to tell other moms and dads ideas of how to show love to kids.  Once we dug a little deeper, they came up with this list that gives concrete and doable ways for grown ups to show love, and isn’t totally candy focused ;).

Showing love the way that your kids will recognize it best

Kid Approved Ways to Show Them You Love Them

1. Give hugs and kisses at bedtime – Basic, yup, but it was at the top of the list when I asked my kids what makes them feel loved.  Each of the kids has their own little ritual for bedtime snuggles.  Butterfly kisses for one boy, a specific order of kisses and then back rubbies for the other and various animal and dolly tuck-ins for the three year old.  Just tiny rituals can make up the foundation to a safe and cozy feeling of being loved.

2. Help clean their room when it’s super messy – Yeah, they need to learn to clean up after themselves, but sometimes, doesn’t it feel better to do a job with company?  I know I feel so much less overwhelmed when the kids pitch in with cleaning the rest of the house.

3. Bring home a little treat from the grocery store – It’s always nice to delight people with food.  It doesn’t even have to be a sweet if you’re trying not to eat much sugar.  Buying the ingredients to a favorite meal and asking them to join you cooking says “I love you and I like working with you.”

5 Kid Approved Ways to Show Love

 Related: Find more ways to simply show love in our Parenting Secret Missions

4. Say Yes. Put aside your work for a moment and say yes – Yes, I’ll read you that story. Yes, I’ll push you on the swing. Yes, I can answer your question.

5. Invite them to help you with important work – When can you invite your child to help with real work?  My kids said they like helping with things they know really matter for our family.  Whether it’s helping write a blog post, stirring the soup or brushing the dog, when the kids ask to help with a task, see if there is any part of it you can say ‘yes’ to and you’ll be showing that you value them and believe they are capable.

6. Ask them what their best part and worst part of the day was – Dinner in our house isn’t “official” until we’ve talked about our favorite part of the day.  Sharing around the table not only gives us a chance to hear from each other, it also teaches conversation skills and gives everyone a chance to express what’s important to them.  If this question doesn’t do the trick, you might try one of these printable conversation starters to get people chatting.

Showing love in the ways your kids most feel loved

Different people feel love in different ways – that seems really obvious, but on the other hand, sometimes I think we get caught up in our personal favorite ways to show love, instead of showing love in the way best suited to each child.  I know I say, “I love you.” a lot and give lots of kisses, great – but sometimes my kids would like me to demonstrate my love by helping them or inviting them to talk with me.

For learning more about ways to show love, I highly recommend The 5 Love Languages of Children (Amazon affiliate). I’d recommend any of the books in Gary Chapman’s Love Languages series.  Explore the ways everyone in your family feels loved with these art journal prompts for LOVE.

For more ideas on simple ways to connect, take a look at The Best Ways to Connect with Kids of All Ages in Just 10 Minutes

It might take some observation and conversation to find out; what makes your kids feel loved?


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  1. Michelle says

    I agree with the little rituals. I recently started singing a good morning song to my five year old after the birth of my 9 month old. It was just a way for me to spend a a minute with him before it got too crazy. Now, if I don’t do it immediately after he wakes, he asks about it. It literally takes about 20 seconds to sing and then we have kisses. I never realized how much of an impact it would make until now

    • says

      Aww, how sweet. I try to write down the little rituals every once in a while so I can look back later and remember them since they change as the kids grow.

  2. says

    Isn’t it interesting to ask the question and hear from a child’s perspective? Such simple things that mean so much. Thank you. And we LOVE the 5 love languages. Great rec.

    • says

      Yes! In fact, Jillian of A Mom With a Lesson Plan has a Conversation Starters post coming up next month in which all of the questions are this kind of thing – insights into what makes your kids feel loved, safe, happy. It was surprising to me how much my kids feel loved when we cook together…though it shouldn’t be, we DO all enjoy that.

  3. says

    We live by the 5 love languages in our marriage, and have also referred to it for the kids. So very helpful to think about feeling love from their perspectives. It will be interesting how it changes as they grow, also! Beautiful post – thanks for sharing.

    • says

      Learning about the Five Love Languages has been so eye opening for me. One of my kids, when I tried time outs just HATED them – not only hated them, but I felt like it was doing him harm. Someone recently asked – do you think his main love language is quality time? Ohhh, very interesting point. Also, I love in the love languages book for couples how he talks about acts of service. I had never thought to simply say, “I love you very much, so I cleaned up this room for you.” It has helped me find ways to be of service to show love, without feeling resentful about it.

  4. Jillian Hunt Riley says

    I’m so glad you posted this! I’m planning to listen to it on a LONG road trip I’m taking.

  5. Analea Kelly says

    Thankfully we are almost on track with most, Brett Kelly #2 would be good and we can sit down with our girls and ask them what makes them feel loved and special. Great article and good refresher about the simple things in life we can do Pipsa Kelly xx

  6. April Williams says

    Great article. And those books are amazing. Especially the 5 love languages for children :)

  7. Angela Jenkins says

    I love it when I read such articles – affirmation I’m doing things which are very important for my children

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