Today the topic was supposed to be about remembering loved ones. If things were perfect I would have written about that- I DO think about my dad (who died fifteen years ago in December) a lot at this time of year, but something else more pressing needs to be written about.
I have fallen victim to “The Perfect.” Yes, even when you have written about how not to get wrapped up in perfection during the holidays, you can still wind up holding out a “Perfect” in front of you.
Ohhh, it was sneaky this year. I didn’t even realize it was happening. It turns out, when your “Perfect Christmas” doesn’t involve all of the Hallmark trimmings (though my Perfect Christmas has some of those too) but when your perfect is more involved with spending time with family, baking and making things- you can wind up looking at other people’s “Perfect Christmas” ideals and feel like, “Haha! I’m not getting wrapped up in that. I’m not holding on to some huge crazy Christmas ideal.”
Oh dear. I know I’m in trouble any time I wind up judging other people’s ideals. CRUD
During a long conversation with my husband, during an overwhelmed and tearful conversation, (it’s hard to let go of your perfect. It’s rather humbling.) I realized still have my own Perfect, getting in my way of being present and enjoying what is.
Strangely some of my “Perfect” revolves around “never becoming stressed or overwhelmed.” Well- that’s out the window now.
::sigh:: OK- I have I have to let go of my OWN perfect. OK
I will have to call people and cancel our dinner plans. I will have to further edit the gift list as I’m not finished with some of them. Even though I started thinking about cards in the beginning of December, I still didn’t get around to printing them, so I think I’ll have to let those go for this year too. I’ve got to Let GO if I want any chance of enjoying this year as it is.
I admit it’s frustrating to feel like I need to let go of so much, but what I am trying to remember is:
- My kids are having a magical childhood. To them a sheet of shiny Christmas stickers is magic. It doesn’t take much!
- I might not have every last thing done that I hoped, but that’s alright. My children live in the present and see the magic of what is, and I can choose to let go.
- It is a busy year for us. If we are able to maintain connection with each other, we are doing well.
- If we don’t do every last exciting thing, heck, if we don’t do HALF the exciting things- that’s just motivation to find exciting ways to sprinkle magic into the rest of the year as well. No reason December should have all the fun.
It might make you feel vulnerable or upset, but it means that you will then be open to what is really happening. You won’t have an obnoxious and annoying Perfect getting in your way so you’ll be able to notice the unexpected moments of joy and the happiness that are already there.
You are enough. You are doing enough. If it feels like you can’t do anymore, but the world thinks you should- trust this: If you can’t do anymore, it is not you that is wrong. You are enough.
Let Go of Your Perfect.
Thanks for listening and helping me let go of mine. (I’ve loosened my grasp at least…)
Lets enjoy the next few days shall we?