Let’s talk about anger and our kids…let’s keep talking.

by Alissa Marquess on October 4, 2012

Parenting and angerI got a message from a friend today. She said she’d been thinking about me lately because of her son’s anger.  She’d read the post Parenting an Angry Child and it had been hitting home for her as she tried to navigate the intense emotions of her son.

We  need parenting friends we can trust.

Our brief conversation left me wondering about what I could tell her that might help.  It led me to talk at length with another friend whom I know often struggles with parenting a very intense child.  Between the two of us we were able to brainstorm a page worth of coping skills we’ve developed over the years.

I want to share these skills with you, but what’s more I want you to have the opportunity to talk with others about these issues.  As my friend and I brainstormed our ideas for coping with anger (both in our children and ourselves,)  I thought, “I am SO lucky to have this person in my life.” 

I can’t tell you how many times it has saved my sanity to be able to call a friend when I just don’t know what to do and I feel like a parenting failure.

No judgement, no shaming

But not everyone has that chance.  Not everyone knows someone who can talk with them about parenting and anger without judgement and shame entering the picture.  The comments I read here on my posts about anger over and over again speak of relief, “I’m so glad to know I’m not alone.”

Creating connections

You are not alone.  We can make a safe place to talk about how to deal with anger.  If you know this is something you would like to talk about more, would you leave me a comment or send me an email to let me know?

I am willing to help create a space to talk about this.  For starters I will begin posting about these issues on a regular basis.  You can look here on Thursdays for posts about parenting and anger or parenting an intense child.

I don’t have all the answers.

A place to talke about parenting and anger

Here’s the deal – I have an intense child.  Sometimes my life suddenly feels upside down and it’s hard to stay afloat, so if I am going to post on Thursdays, I’ll need your help to keep the conversation going.  I need to know what you want to hear about and I definitely don’t have all the answers.  I hope that you’ll join the conversation, because we all can benefit from our shared experiences.  You are able to leave a comment anonymously if that is what you need (just write anonymous or something like that in the “name” field).  I will leave that feature on as long as we all stay respectful of one another.

As we go along, if it seems like we need more than the comments of the posts to talk I can create a facebook group for discussion.

Would you like to keep this conversation going?

Do you have a child whose intensity or anger sends you reeling?  Or perhaps in yourself, do you have times of struggling to contain your own anger and frustration?  Would you like some help coming up with positive ways to deal with these emotions?  I’m also curious, do you have people close to you whom you can talk to about these things?

Whether or not you have friends to help with parenting right now, I hope we can create some connections here that will help you find positive and practical ways to parent, even in very intense situations.

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{ 84 comments… read them below or add one }

Jessica May 9, 2013 at 10:05 am

Thank you so much for your fresh perspective on things and for your encouragement!! It was becoming one of “those days” very quickly today. While I took a moment to re gain my composure I ran across your post on Pinterest. Thank God!!! I really like every point you make and especially how you explain your taking a time out as I need to learn how to articulate that better to my toddler. Blessings to you and your family! :-)

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Jessica May 9, 2013 at 10:16 am

Oops.. this sounds nuts but I was reading another article on a different parenting blog on my phone and trying to reply to THAT when apparently that window got closed out and I posted on your page that I also had opened and was about to read. Sorry if the “time out” thing didn’t make sense. Lol I am reading your blog and LOVING IT too! :-) Yes, I have a toddler who has a hards time expressing her anger in an acceptable manner and I’m seeking new ways to help her learn and ways to help me love her through it with GRACE. Again, blessings to you and your family. Thank you for the support. No, I didn’t feel that I could talk to anyone today who would understand (other than my Savior) or more importantly, who would provide helpfuk solutions. ;-) …but you HAVE.

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