Resources – To Deal With Anger

I never knew I had a temper until I had kids.

Dealing with anger has been one of the most difficult and humbling parts of parenting for me, so as best I can, I share what I learn along the way.

If you’d like to find way to deal with anger and stop yelling at your kids, these resources are for you.  You are not alone – many of us struggle to deal with anger as we never learned healthy ways to handle this strong emotion.

Great resources to help you deal with anger as a parent

This is me the day I asked my then 7 year old what I look like when I’m angry. We had a little photo shoot. He was saying “Yes! Like that…ok, only meaner!”

I hope the books and links on this page help you find the tools you need to bring some more peace to your home.  I will update this page as I learn more about how to deal with anger.  Let me know if there is a resource you think belongs here.

Creative With Kids works to provide a safe space to talk about anger and parenting.  Thank you for being respectful in your comments.

Breaking the Rage and Anger Cycle – RIGHT NOW

Anger is not an unhealthy emotion, but the ways we deal with anger sure can be. When you feel stuck being angry or rageful it tends to lead to guilt and shame, making you feel terrible, and more likely to snap and yell, leading to more guilt – yuck. These posts can help you break this cycle and begin the momentum to grow from your anger as you learn healthy ways to deal with it.

  • Dealing with Parenting Rage – A few strategies for how to deal with anger in those moments when you can’t pass the parenting to another adult.

Prevent Yelling

  • Learn Your Anger Triggers – We often forget that simple things can cause us background stress.  Is this why you’re yelling?
  • The Stop Yelling Challenge – This is a support group run by Amanda of the site Dirt and Boogers.  Join and find a community of kind, non-judgmental folks with a common goal.

Dealing With Guilt

Taking Care of Yourself to Make Dealing with Anger Easier

When You’re Angry Because Your Kids are Angry

  • You Can be Kind, They can be Angry – My biggest misperception, that has caused a lot of anger, frustration and confusion was that if I was kind and consistent, my kids would do what I asked…turns out I needed to learn more about the business of setting limits and dealing with angry feelings from others.

Books on  dealing with anger and positive parenting

Below I’ve listed a handful of my favorite books.

The back of this book has sections which list behaviors and how to respond to them.  Make sure to get the updated edition in which they no longer support spanking. Gives you the framework to understand your child’s most frustrating behaviors and learn how to help them be successful and fun to live with instead. A starting point for any parent wanting to break the cycle of yelling/hitting/shame and switch to a positive, intentional style of parenting. Since I’ve started using Amy’s tools my kids are fighting less and I’m feeling more empowered and much less angry.  She also has a video course I highly recommend.

To find a more complete listing including books on parenting an intense child, sibling rivalry and more go to:

More Resources for Dealing with Anger:

Creative With Kids Newsletter – This is the email subscription to Creative With Kids. Receive links to simple connection ideas and parenting inspiration.  You’ll also get notification of free positive parenting webinars hosted by CWK and Positive Parenting Solutions.

The Orange Rhino – Fantastic site all about a mom’s journey to stop yelling.  Lots of alternatives to yelling, help for how to deal with anger.

Stop Yelling Webinars – Free hour long webinar that you watch on your tablet or computer and you can ask questions in the text chat.

Stop the Yelling! Resource list for dealing with parenting anger and finding positive parenting tools

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  1. MJ says

    I highly recommend the older book – “Children the Challenge”.
    It is written so you can look up different situations, and understand the “hows and whys” of many challenging issues for kids of different ages. I used it on my kids, and found it very helpful. They are all adults now – and we all survived!!
    The writing style is easy reading, to the point, and explains how the parent can understand what is Really going on.

    Please do not make my name public.
    Thank You.

  2. says

    what a great post and some really good links. I’d love you to consider linking this to the Sunday Parenting Party – we are trying to build the link as a parenting resource and posts like this are just great for it.

  3. Debra says

    Haven’t checked all the links yet, but I’m really hoping some of them offer advice for single parents. It’s not so easy to give yourself time out when there’s no one else to leave them with.

    • Vee says

      I completely agree Debra. My son is 10 and I’ve been a single mom for 8 years now and I’m reaching my breaking point. Don’t know what to do anymore. I find myself yelling often. Desperately want to give up, but i know that i love my son too much to do that. But what else….
      Have you found any solutions? I’m crossing my fingers that something here helps!

  4. says

    {Kathy} Thank you for this list! May I also recommend Julie Barhill’s book, She’s Gonna Blow. It has been a resource that I pass on often to moms who are struggling in this area.

    • jen says

      hi (Kathy) can you tell me more about this She’s gonna blow book…I feel like this could be for me. I am so quick to anger lately and just BLOW! :) thanks all for the help –love the blog just found it today!!!

  5. says

    You definitely need to add to your list. Nothing else, not even the best of intentions, helped me until I found this website, and it has literally changed my (and my childrens’) life. Orange Rhino blogs about her own challenge to stop yelling and has created a supportive and compassionate community on Facebook and a forum on her website. Amazing stuff, and it truly has helped me.

    • says

      I’ve been meaning to add the Orange Rhino to my no more yelling resources! Her blog is wonderful, honest and supportive. And I love that she gives concrete helpful tips on things to do besides yelling. Thanks for reminding me; I will certainly add it!

  6. says

    Oh, and a book that has changed how I parent my super-intense kids (and how I view my own temper) is “The Explosive Child,” by Ross W. Greene. He posits the revolutionary idea that children (and often adults) who lose their tempers do so not because they want to be angry or manipulative, but because they don’t have the skills to problem-solve (whether because of developmental issues, learning disabilities, or personality) and so they melt down. It’s a great read, and his strategy for sorting priorities into “baskets” is worth the price of the book many times over.

  7. says

    Managing feelings is so important! Take a peek at our website we are all about providing kids with tools on how to manage feelings. Our Mottos flip flop allows for kids to snap customs charms in and out of flip flop, allowing kids to express how they feel each day. Kids are able to trade, wear & collect charms. The importance here is encouraging parents, caregivers and educators tools to encourage communication. We believe it’s ok to have feelings but it’s important that you manage them in a positive way:)

    • says

      I agree with the recommendation another reader mentioned. “Loving Your Kids on Purpose,” by Danny Silk, is a MUST for the parenting tool bag. However, our family learned firsthand, after five years of trying everything to help our young son regarding his edginess and ballistic anger-to-rage episodes, that whole food nutrition makes ALL the difference! We had the new parenting tools in place but still no clue that what we were really dealing with was a physiological imbalance. Second week on a gummy chewable containing 20 different fruits and vegetables – actual food – our battle with unmanageable behaviors in our 8 year old son are now over. NOW, the parenting tools WORK! I am passionate about sharing with parents because of our experience. Trust this will help some worn-out parent out there! ~Elizabeth, Mom to 3 great kids!

  8. dr.ensaf says

    I need ur help in dealing with my kids iam going be crazy iam always screaming.

    • says

      I think we all get stuck in what I call the parenting “Dark Pit” from time to time. You are not alone and you won’t solve everything in one day, just start taking a LOT of deep breaths and working on it bit by bit. Every step you take on this journey to learn to deal with anger in a healthy way is a worthwhile step.

      All my best,

  9. Elena Malkova says

    Thank you very much for a very useful article and sharing your Wisdom with us!

  10. says

    You have NO idea how this has helped me. ! I printed out your post about 6 Ways To Set Limits. In that write-up you described my anger/yelling issues with my 2 year old son, better than I could have explained it myself! What an insightful person you are! I’m so glad you have this blog.

    • says

      Thank you so much Erin, best wishes as you keep growing in this area. Learning to deal with anger continues to be one of the hardest and yet most rewarding things I do as a parent.

  11. Brigitte says

    I couldn’t have come across your blog (and this page) at a better time! Over the last few days I’ve felt like wanting to explode (or kill!) … Although I would never kill … But whenever I’m at that point of frustration, my 3.75 year old does something that brings me back down to earth … The poor thing is dealing with Mummy going back to work in the afternoons so I have much less time to fit everything in … let alone her before I do … I need to read the information above for my sanity and hers. Thank you!!

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